Balls of Steel Episode 2: Eat, Die, and Get Buried
(Dean Ambrose is seen standing in front of the island of Tuvalu, with Roman Reigns seen standing right behind him) Dean: Previously on Total Drama Balls of Steel. 15 unlucky contestants from the TDRPW and OTDRP were brought to the South Pacific on a small island known as Tuvalu, where they were divided into three teams: Pips, Kikes, and Plebs. Their first challenge was to go to their camps and build the best shelter possible. Chip took charge on Team Kike, while things also went smoothly for Team Pip. But Team Pleb, things didn't go so well, and they got absolutely nothing done! What a bunch of losers, LOL! And so in the end, Team Pleb lost and had to go vote somebody out. And did they vote out the more obviously annoying pleb, RJ? Nope! Instead, it was video game obsessed hornball JRO that took the boot and was the first person of the season to take the Hurl of Shame! Fourteen are left, who will win? Who will hurl? Find out right here! Right now! On Total! Drama! Balls of Steel! Intro Plays = (Team Kike- Day 4) (Heo is seen playing around on his iPhone 4G Touch while Grass is seen reading the newspaper. Ultra is still trying to get over his loss about the Mickey D's, so Heo tries to comfort him) Heo: Hey Ultra, what's up? Ultra: *notices Heo* Oh, hey Heo. Nothing really. I'm just still upset about the McDonalds I brought. I mean, do you know how much it took for me to keep that stuff warm the entire flight over here? That bitch costed me $1.78! Heo: $1.78!? Damn. If that were mine that got thrown into the ocean like that, I would have raged. I don't even pay that much money for ice cream! But hey, if it makes you feel any better, maybe when this is all over you can come over to my place in Arizona and we can do stuff like play Teen Titans on the PlayStation 2 or get some Panda Express! Ultra: You know what, that sounds like a great idea. Thanks, Heo! Heo: No problem, man. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ultra: *In Confessional* Okay, so for the past few months I've been pretty busy with my personal life, and so I haven't got to spend much time with everyone else here. So I'm coming into this game with a bit of a disadvantage. So hopefully me pretending to be Heo's buddy will help me be in the majority of this team. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (an anonymous person whacks an iPad onto the back of Heo's head) Heo: Ow! Hey, what the!? ???: WE RP NOW!!! Heo: Oh hey GO. What's your problem. GO: WE RP NOW! Ultra: I don't feel like RP'ing to be honest, GO. GO: WE RP NOW! HEO, YOU USE YOUR IPHONE 4G TOUCH, I USE MY IPAD, AND GRASS AND ULTRA CAN USE THEIR LAPTOPS! HECK, CHIP CAN JOIN IN TOO! Chip: No thanks. I've been long over roleplaying. Especially with uneducated politicians like you guys. Grass: *while reading newspaper* You all are a bunch of fuq boi's to be honest. Chip: Oreally? Last time I checked, I was the one who led us to victory in that challenge. Grass: That doesn't stop you from being a fuq boi as well as the most annoying person here. GO: EVEN MORE ANNOYING THAN ME, GRASS!? Grass: Uh, sure GO, even you. *rolls eyes* And would you please lay off the caps locks!? GO: OH......... MAYBE! LIKE USING CAPS LOCK TO BE HONEST I CAN NOT HELP IT, THEY MAKE ME MORE NOTICED AND PEOPLE GET MY POINT BETTER WHEN I USE THEM! ANYWAYS...... WHO WANTS TO RP WITH ME!? Heo: Nah, I'm good, man. (GO then grabs Heo by the legs, swings him around and then lets go, causing Heo to go flying far into the ocean water) GO: I SAID: WE! RP! NOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Team Pip- Day 4) (The members of Team Pip are gathered around in their shelter, enjoying some french toast made by none other than Toast himself) Meta: Mmmmmmm. Man, this sure is some good stuff, Toast. Rocky: Agreed. You nailed it. We could have this stuff for breakfast every morning. Dark: No kidding. Toast: Thanks, bitches! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dark: *In Confessional* This Toast guy, I don't know, but there is something fishy about him that I just don't like. Like, the other day he was mocking everything I was doing, and I found it rather annoying. I would try to get rid of him myself, but I'm just too Max Goof to be doing that stuff. Rocky: *In Confessional* Okay, so yeah. Toast is indeed a threat, and I came here to lie, manipulate, and destroy my competition. BUT, to get rid of an asset like Toast this early is a silly thought. Besides, he buys porno films I sell, so of course I don't want him to quit his subscription. Also, there actually is someone else I would rather get rid of first. And that person is none other than. *sighs* Fiz! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fiz: So guys, now that we ate breakfast and all that, we should like, twerk as exercise for the next challenge. Meta: How is "twerking" gonna help us? Fiz: I don't know, it just will. Toast: Fiz stfu you dumb bish! Fiz: Sorry! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fiz: *In Confessional* I hope that by the end of this season I recieve the most votes cast against me! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Team Pleb- Day 4) Rocker: I just wanna say, that if we lose again, somebody is gonna get hurt. And don't think I'm joking either! Ally: Calm down, Rocker. RJ: Yeah, I mean, there is no way you can hurt any of us, cus if we lose again, we're just gonna vote you out so you can't hurt us when you're eliminated! Rocker: ....... I'm just gonna pretend you didn't just say that. Bat: Guys, can we please stop arguing? We need to get a grip. Rocker: Since when are you the peacekeeper around here!? Bat: Um, I never said anything about being a peacekeeper. RJ: Leave Bat alone, Rocker! Rocker: How about you fuck off, BJ!? RJ: Your mean! Rocker: And your ugly! (RJ then goes running off crying) Ally: Great Rocker, you hurt the feelings of my best friend. (Ally then quickly runs after RJ to help calm him down) Rocker: Give me a break! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Immunity Challenge- Day 5) Dean: So, campers, did you all eat good enough these past couple days? Bat: We haven't been able to eat even a small little ant. We're starving! Meta: We ate pretty good, man. Toast made us french toast bread! Fiz: It's truwe! Dean: How about you, Team Kike? Ultra: We ate alright, although we could have been filled up had a certain host not been a jerk and threw away my Mickey D's! Dean: Welp, the good news is for you all, is that in today's immunity challenge, you will be eating like a wild beast from the jungle! This is an eating contest! RJ: OMG! An eating contest! Just like on #Survivor! Dean: One by one each team will have one member come up and chow down on whatever disgusting course Roman Reigns here gives you. when you complete a course, you earn a point for your team, the first two teams to get to 5 points, wins immunity! Sound simple? Ok, good! Team Pleb, since you guys are down one member, one of you is gonna go twice. First up, Rocker from Team Pleb, Dark from Team Pip, and GO from Team Kike. Your first item *reveals item* bull eyes! They're extra juicy too! Ready? Set? Go! (The three participants all grabs their bowl of bull eyes, GO uses his mad Godding skills to swallow all eyes in one gulp, Rocker quickly finishes as well. Dark at first doesn't wanna eat it as he says he's too Max Goof to rush, but eventually he eats them all without troubles. All three teams score a point) Dean: Score for all three teams! Next up, Ally for the Plebs, Toast for the Pips, and Chip for the Kikes. Your item this round is...... *reveals item* Rat heads! Ready? Set? Go! (Ally slowly chews on her rat head, while Toast eats it in just one bite. Chip, however, seems to testify) Chip: Um, excuse me, but I should NOT be eating THIS! Dean: Well, smartypants, if you don't eat it, you don't get a point and your team will be behind! It may cost ya a date with me at the elimination ceremony! Chip: Well then so be it, I would rather get voted off than eat some rat piece! Dean: And so Ally and Toast score for their teams! Making the score so far to be 2-2-1 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chip: *In Confessional* Okay, I know what I just did may sound like a WTF move. But trust me, I have a trick up my sleeve. You see, I've noticed that I've sort of been outcasted on my team, meanwhile Ultra has been getting closer to the others. That is why he HAS to go, before it's too late! And there is only one way I can guarantee that happening at the next elimination ceremony: Throwing the challenge and sabotaging to make it seem like Ultra did it! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dean: Next round. RJ for Plebs, Meta for Pips, and Grass for Kikes. Your item is........ *reveals item* Monkey brains! RJ: OMGZ! Just like on #Survivor! Dean: Alright, ready? Set? Go! (RJ gladfully digs in, thinking he is some contestant on Survivor, while Meta and Grass take their time) Dean: And all teams get a point! The score is now 3-3-2! Next up, Bat for the Plebs, Rocky for the Pips, and Ultra for the Kikes! Your item for this round is....... *reveals item* rocks! Rocky: ROCKS!? Bat: ROCKS!? Dean: Yup. Good ol' rocks. Get 'em while they are hot! Bat: Sorry, but no way am I eating rocks. It's just physically impossible! Rocky: Well, I don't want to go to elimination, sooo...... (Rocky grabs the plate of rocks and shoves them down his mouth, losing his teeth and making his mouth bleed in the process) Rocky: *gulp* Done! ....... SDFGFBDZCSTHRYHTEFRTYHGFSD Meta: Uh oh, I think Rocky is like, dying or having a seizure! You gotta help him out! Dean: Wow, I seriously did not expect anyone to eat those rocks. Well, Reigns, take him over to medical, please! (Roman Reigns picks up Rocky and carries him away from the challenge site) Dean: He'll be fine! And now Ultra, how did you do. Ultra: Sorry, but I- What the! (Ultra's plate appears to be empty) Dean: Wow, you ate 'em too! Well, that's a point to the Kikes and a point to the Pips! Score is now 4-3-3! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ultra: *In Confessional* Wow, I swear I didn't even eat those! I just looked away for two seconds and then I turn around and what do you know, they're gone! Woah! Chip: *In Confessional* When everyone turned their attention over to Rocky, I took the perfect opportunity to sneak up to the table, wipe off all the rocks off of Ultra's plate, and shove them in his pockets! Brilliant, huh? I know, I'm great! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dean: Alright, next up, Rocker again for Plebs, Fiz for Pips, and Heo for the Kikes. Your item is...... *reveals item* Dog penis! Everyone: .................... Dean: Tasty looking, huh? Fiz, if you score this round, you win immunity for your team. Ready? Set? Go! Fiz: I like penis! Rocker: This is bullshit! (Fiz devours the dog penis) Fiz: Yummy! Dean: And with that, Team Pip finishes first place and gets immunity! Down to Plebs and Kikes! Rocker: *deep breath* Alright, it's either this or going home. (Rocker picks up the dog penis and eats it as quick as he can) Dean: And Rocker scores for the Plebs! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rocker: *In Confessional* Okay, that is the ONLY time you will ever see my face or mouth near anything that even remotely looks like a dick! *throws up* Fiz: *In Confessional* Like, I am such a challenge beast! Go me! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heo: I don't know if I can do this. Dean: If you don't eat it, you'll be a point behind the Plebs and may cost you immunity! GO: HEO, YOU EAT DOGGY PENIS, NOW!!! Grass: Come on Heo, pretend that it's Ally your eating! Ally: What!? Heo: ....... (Heo then immediately grabs the dog penis and scarfs it down whole) Dean: And Heo ties the score for the Kikes! 4-4! Time for our tiebreaker round! Okay, each team will choose a person from the opposite team to go up this round. Kikes, who do you choose to go up for the Plebs? GO: THE TWINKIE! Grass: He means Bat. Dean: Alright, and Pleb, who is it gonna be for the Kikes? RJ: We have chosen Chip! Dean: Okay. Bat vs Chip, winner gets immunity, loser's team votes someone out. Your item will be...... *reveals item* A classic: Larvae! Chip: Ha! Back when I was in cub scouts, they would have us eat all sorts of bugs, and larva was one of them! Bat: Ew! Gross! sorry, but I just can't! Dean: Ready? Set? Go! (Chip grabs the larva and eats it) Chip: Done! Dean: Alright, Bat, if you finish, we'll be tied again, if you don't, then the Plebs will go to elimination again. RJ: Come one Bat, you can do it! Bat: Sorry, but, I just can't do it. (Bat slowly walks away back to his team with his head down in shame) Dean: Well, it seems that Kikes win second place immunity! While Plebs will be going to the elimination ceremony for the second time in a row! Ultra: Something's itchy in my pants. Dean: Too much info! Too. Much. Info! Ultra: No, seriously, there is something in my pants... (Ultra pulls out his pockets, and a bunch of the rocks from earlier fall out) Dean: What the hell? Hey, you didn't eat the rocks! No wonder you didn't look hurt! You cheated! Automatic disqualification! Everyone Else: *gasps* Ultra: But-but, I swear I didn't put these in my pockets! I don't even know how they got there! I would never cheat! Chip: Wow Ultra, just wow! Sabotaging and costing us the win? Tisk tisk. Ultra: But, I- Grass: Enough, Ultra, you've already done enough damage. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Elimination Ceremony- Night 6) Dean: Alright, Team Kike. You all have casted your votes, so when I call your name, please come up and get your bulletproof Shield vest! The following people are safe: Grass. Heo.................... Aaaannnnddddd.......... GO! (Heo, Grass, and GO all receive their vests) Dean: Chip and Ultra, our bottom two. Chip, your on the chopping block for refusing to eat the rat heads. and Ultra, your on the chopping block for getting your team disqualified. Ultra: But I swear I didn't do it! Honestly! Dean: Save it for your lawyers, pal! And with that, the final vest goes to..................... ...................... Ultra: ........................... Chip: .................................. Dean: ............................................................. ............................................................... ............................................................. ....................................... .................................................. ................................................................................... ................................. Chip! *tosses vest to Chip* Chip: Pfft! As if I was gonna get eliminated over this cheater! Dean: Ultra, got nothing for ya, the Hurl of Shame awaits ya. (Scene cuts to Ultra sitting on the Hurl of Shame as his team watches) Dean: Any last words? Ultra: It wasn't me that sabotaged the challenge! Before we left our camp to get here, I overheard someone else bickering over how they were the ones who put the rocks in my pockets, and that person is- (Roman Reigns releases the catapult, causing Ultra to go flying far into the night sky) Ultra: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Dean: Did we launch him before he could finish? Whoopsie! Anyways, another one has bitten the dust! Who will join the list of losers next? Will the Kikes ever find out the truth behind that sabotage? And will Heo ever gain Ally's charm? Find out next time on: Total! Drama! Balls of Steel! (End)